I just had the sharpest pain in my chest I have ever felt.

I have never felt more betrayed in my life.

pro-tip: listening to depressing music when you're sad at nighttime is a HORRIBLE combo.

As of this point in time, things seem to be going pretty well. Angela and I are doing better and I couldn't be happier. I really hope they stay that way. I am getting a bass guitar tomorrow, so now I won't be so bored and I can practice to get good at something. :)

All I want is some money. Just a little bit of money. $70 isn't THAT much to ask for when it is for something somewhat productive and will keep you busy kinda and not make you go crazy. I want a bass guitar. It would keep me entertained and not go insane. I want to say I am good at something besides video games and wrestling. :(

Man. Last night was horrible. I was in the worst mood ever and I couldn't stop shaking and ended up crying myself to sleep. I don't know what that was.. But I never want to go through it again. I'm still shaking for some reason and I'm not in the best mood, but whatever...I still wish I had someone I could go to and not be yelled at when I explain how I feel like always... =/ Fuck.

I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm wasting my time and I'm being mocked like I'm a fucking joke. Someone is never serious when I need them to be. I would always be there for them in anyway no matter what but they can't for me. Or so it seems. I seriously kind of hate life at the moment. Doesn't seem like things will ever be like they used to be about a year ago. I'm either getting yelled at or not taken seriously. I have feelings too. I don't show them much unless It's around someone, but they usually don't take me seriously. I want to cry. I've cried enough though. I don't know what to do. I need someone there for me. I need someone who is REALLY there for me. It feels like things with my g/f have gone to shit and It's like we're 1,000 miles apart. She isn't there for me like she should be and I really need her to be there for me. Now, more than ever. If you're reading this, please, help me. You're killing me deep down inside. The more you say I annoy you and the more you don't want to deal with things makes me hate you and I really don't want to. I love you more than anything and I think you don't realize that I'm serious about it. Please...I can't take it anymore. I hate this...

So my phone is broke and so is my Nintendo DS mod USB thing. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Words cannot describe how I am feeling right now. I am very disappointed. It's like no matter how much I try or give, I get no response and nothing in return. It really makes me start to think and when that happens I start regretting things. I feel as if I may end up thinking too much in the future and I'll end up regretting something important to me and just not care anymore and pretend it doesn't exist. I really hope it doesn't come to that, it would kill me. I'm shaking a little bit right now. I feel like taking this bottle of Nyquil and drinking the entire thing. I try so hard and what's to show for it? Sometimes I believe the world is against me. Fuck, I hate life right now.

So my life has been pretty decent lately. Angela and I are doing pretty well. She gave me an old HIM poster and is letting be borrow her c.d.'s. Fable 2 came out today and I rented it, that game is SO fucking awesome. I am pretty disappointed about Halloween USA not calling me back, but oh well. I'll get a job when the time is right. :)

So, I pretty much love life.
I should be starting that job at Halloween USA in a few weeks.
I'm excited.
I'm fucking hungry right now.
Uuuuggggnnnnghhhh

I'm really hot at the moment, holy shit.
I'm happy to say I have not been having nightmares recently. (Watch, I'll have one tonight.)
Eh, not sure what else to say..I think....I'm gonna have a good day tomorrow.
I hope.

I really hope things are gonna do a 180 soon.
I want a job.
I want to talk to my friends more then I do now.
All of them.
I'm lonely.

Been a while, ey?
Sorry.
I'm not really sure where I am going with my life at the moment.
I am getting older and not accomplishing anything.
But I'm trying to enjoy life and make the best of it, I guess.
I can't wait go get out of here.
My birthday is almost here. :]

I don't fucking know anymore.

Things are going pretty good for me. I will start my hunt for a job on June 10th. Until then, I am just going to relax and enjoy our short life. I'm kinda hungry.

Sorry I haven't updated, I haven't really felt the need to do it.

All I can say is I am really happy. :]

I cut my hair yesterday! :)
It looks good.
I only wanted a little trim to  cut off the dead ends, but my cousin went crazy on it.
Ah, well.

I smell, I need a shower.
I don't really know at the moment.
Rather calm.
Hm.

1:29 PM
Sometimes I wish my life would change.